Often, when I’m at work, or in the middle of preparing for a class, I need to completely step away from the task at hand to read blogs, or look at Pinterest, or knit several rounds of a sock, or make a little drawing in my notebook. I don’t mean that I choose to do this in order to distract myself, I NEED to do it, in order to finish my task. My brain reaches a point where it needs other, specifically visual, stimulation in order to refocus.
When this happens at work, I often feel guilty about it, should someone look at my screen and see that I’m “just screwing around on the internet” or “drawing in [my] little book.” And then I get in this whole shame cycle of how I should be focusing, and achieving, and accomplishing, and what the fuck is wrong with me that I can’t just sit here and do my work. And so on.
At home (and when I was contracting), it was so much easier to take small moments out of my day to do what Max calls “puttering.” I’d walk the dog, draw, call my best friend, knit, look at a magazine, sit outside on the steps… and then when I went back to my task, it seemed effortless. And I really, really miss puttering.